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Wednesday, June 29, 2005

it had been a loooong wear-my-overall day....

as usual, i had 4 hrs of prac todae... and it didnt turn out any good.. this week's exercise was challenging and very hard to perfect it... thus, i lost the motivation to carry it out... haha... kept throwin tantrums on the equipmts... hopefully, next week will be better...

i stayed in my overalls during lunch.... so, basically, i was in my overalls plus safety boots-which is not very light- frm 8 am till lunch (12pm)...

todae, i had an 'excursion' to jurong shipyard.. and yes, the attire was overalls, safety boots and helmet. this was frm 1pm to ard 5pm.... so, imagine... i was stuck in my overalls frm 8 in the morn to 5 in the evening... the excursion was boring.. such a waste of time... wouldnt elaborate... argh... should have ponteng and go for the AGM...

talking abt AGM... i DID go for it... haha... as a matter of factly, i attended it for less than 5 mins... the moment i sat down, the emcee was givin the closin words already.. and the next min, i was out of the LT... haha... but at least, i did show up, ritee ppl...? took pics... here, there everywhere... with these person, and tt person... awesome.. i suddenly became, like wat ppl say, a camera whore. like the female version of zulu...*squirt, squirt*

after snappin here and there.... went off to get a drink... me, zee and nyqa... had a lil chat... bout stuff.. had a really short crappin session with liyana and CT cat... head home... was really tired by the time i reached tamp...

finally reached home...

i loike wak's nickname on msn... my sentiments exactly.. haiz...

met 'the original friz' face to face juz now... muahahaha... he's one real critic man... but,i loike his truthfulness...

thanks feli for makin me look pretty on ur bloggie... hehe... muaCkZ!

sometimes i feel soo lonely in poly... in classes. i have no gfs to bitch with... not tt i dun have any, but i dun like those in sec sch... like the ones tt u can juz blast out laughing and chattin non stop... my gfs in sp are tooo quiet... hehe... but thank god for them...

but, in classes... juz now durin the excursion to the shipyard, sth suddenly hit me... i was alone... the guys were too childish, as in, nvm..... and im not tt close to the girls...

but so far, life's been pretty good... im hanging on to wateva i can... hazeeq's been pretty gd companion to hang with and to talk to.. iqbal's pretty cool to chill with... oh wells... im crapping...

elfi: yupz... anyone could have guessed tt... hehe..
abang hapres: haha... aik.. mcm mane tadi pape nak kutuk..? hehe... anyway, zee's cute huh? tell tt to her on her taggie la... hehe...
feli: i juz follow u shop la... im totally broke!
ah boi: it's not disgustin la... it's really an amazing process... but nvm la... haha... malas wanna explain..
drools: yupz... ice princess was goood... and i cant make it this sat... sorry babes..
Riaaa: haha... i noe...

Smashed into pieces at 6/29/2005 09:11:00 PM

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

feck...

go shoppin also wanna scold... argh...

the skirt i bought not tt short.. it's freakin knee lenght onli...

argh... and it's my money...

Smashed into pieces at 6/28/2005 10:36:00 PM

"lost & confused
unsure where to head
scared to take a step forward
but not willing to stay still
afraid to lose what i truly treasure
afraid to be misunderstood
overreacting might be the problem
ignoring aint the solution
emotions whirling in me
not settling down any soon
im lost to describe myself
im confused of wat state im in now...."

sch was awesome.... had CRS a.k.a eng class.... watched a vid on how a foetus actually is formed... it's was disgustin... they actually videoed the part when the doctor helped to 'pull' out the baby frm the vagina... as in the show the front view... which means tt u can see everything.. EVERYTHING... blood, pubic hair, blood... and blood... ugh. my eyes were like sooo tearing up... i actually cried a lil.. hehe.. i was terrified k... the guys were definitely disgusted... haha...

lunched with hisham, liyana, zee, hamizah and naqiah(sp?).... again, i didnt eat.. coz i ate with hazeeq and iqbal already.. cant tahan lapar la... hehe... crapped alot with those guys b4 headin to fc 3... had fun guys... thanks braces for the drink ;)

engineering drawing class was great! haha... coz i finished the work fast... like real fast... like the first few who finished it... haha... was i gd or wat? huge achievemt u noe... after tt... went to meet ADRENA!!!!

haha.... watched ice princess at tm gv... awesome movie. im in love with the lead actor's eyes... he's damn real serious cute and hot and charming.... went ard, jln2.... bought skirt and pierre cardin undies set... real gorgeous.. hehe... and the price ok la... on the way home, saw SHAHIDAH SOTONG!!! kat interchange, saw FAHMI 4f... and muaazim.. haha.. of all ppl. tt muaazim actually smiled at me... i was like... ritee... haha.. smiled back la, courteousy mah...

reached home...

bored to death... nth to do... waste time on cyberspace la... wat else...

thanks braces and zee... for being sooo concern... everything's well now.. dun worri aitez.. cheers =)

hafiz: thanks man.... =)

Smashed into pieces at 6/28/2005 10:16:00 PM

Monday, June 27, 2005

it's like any other sunday... boring and slow.

but i passed it off by sleeping.... muahahah..

in the morn, had brunch at this delicious briyani shop... somewhere along the way to dover... erm.. it's was yummy... for once, i like eatin briyani... the onli prob was tt it was too spicy... but, wateva.. it was tasty.

reached home, slept.... frm abt 3 to 6... hehe... yesh... lazy pig i am...

argh... sth's killin me... this feelin in me... im being ridiculous. feelin all green and envious for no reason... it's suicidal for my own self... i noe tt, but y am i still like this? i miss him... but, y should i? i mean... there's nth happening... am i over reacting? maybe yes... but accordin to HTI, im not... i hate feelin this way. and everytime i think abt this, i have a queasy feelin..like feelin afraid of the outcome... i need major help to distract myself frm this...

elfi: haha... yay!! not exactly a CI... im still PCI.. still under probation dear...
ema: ???? erm... u're welcome sweets... haha... im grateful for the stuff u did for me too...
riaaa: haha... sad... poor thing... thanks for droppin by babe..
zee: duh... haha... dpt berbual sekejap dgn dier... hehe... u take care too girl!
so?: i wanna meet up soon... haiz...
abang hapres: haha.. i noe.. tt's y i said 'MOST'... hehe..

Smashed into pieces at 6/27/2005 12:24:00 AM

Saturday, June 25, 2005

i am now officially out of the CI course... yay!

the morning was spent training and perfecting the parade.... it was totally tiring. we trained for more than 5 hrs.... the onli break we took was during lunch. after tt, there was a short lecture, and back to rehearsal... the final rehearsal b4 the real thing.

and so, the real parade started.... marched in with pride as the parents and other loved ones applauded...it was an awesome feeling... but it wasnt as great as the moment when we marched pass... the sufferings we went thru finally came to an end... the other remarkable part of the parade was when our parents/ guests were invited to put on our rank for us. it was such a special moment.. a moment which marked the reward we've always been waitin for after goin thru mental and physical torture... we are very proud of ourselves..

our arms were kinda cramp, and obviously, very tired frm carryin the rifles... but it was all worth the pain tt we endured. it was a cool POP.... tiring but very enjoyable.

reception after the parade was boring... didnt really paid attention to it.. instead, my whole squad wenta change out of the full u... k, wanna sidetrack abit k... while we in our allocated classroom (yes, police academy does have classrooms too), 2 young police officers came iin... and they were like sellin wateva u call thingy la... like rubber bracelet. it's for charity... bla bla bla... they'll be cycling frm s'pore all the way to thailand in bid for charity, which i find really amazing... anyway, i was soo tired to buy the thingy... so lazy to get my wallet and walk up to them and get the bracelet... but, there was this malay guy... he was really cute.. hehe... his name is, i think, corporal Ali... so, i actually bought the thiing juz to strike a conversation with him... hehe... and also for charity la...

kk.. back to POP...

changed into much more cleaner and comfy clothes, my squad snapped some pics... yada yada yada... marched down... got into the car, and went off for dinner.. i was starvin... haha.. i ate a lot.

squad 2, do keep in touch although we've gone our separate ways. J05, gonna miss u batchmates... u guys are loads of fun... to my squadmates, love y'all... muaCkZ! hehe.... "pull back sir!!!" haha...

it was an experience for me to attend this course... though there were times when i felt like quittin and juz swearin and cursiin at anything and anyone to release the tension, it all boils down to a brilliant ending... like more bonds are forge.. more frenships were fostered.... and, i feel like a better person... with more knowledge and confidence...

though, this is not the end... coz every end is another beginning.

Smashed into pieces at 6/25/2005 10:25:00 PM

Friday, June 24, 2005

oh yeah...

i cant tag most of ur taggies.... haiz..

Smashed into pieces at 6/24/2005 11:28:00 PM

todae was oritez la... had fun durin the second part of the day...

sch was sucky... reached class late, but luckily the lecturer was kind enuf to mark my attendance... my dad send always late... pergi sch sendiri lagi siang seh sampai... haiz...

wenta get ema's 'gift'... damn.. it was crappy. bought this lil small bag... which was meant to be a toy... wrapped in diapers and newspapers... haha... but, she actually got my gorgeous undies frm topshop... haha... u'll get ur treat soon girl.. thanks for the pretty undies.. love them!!

sat and drank and slacked for a while at starbucks... ate haagen daz... but didnt finish them... asked elf to bring them home... haha... malas la wanna bring the two pints home.

got home... showered....

settled down...

start polishin moi boots...

tmr POP oi!!!!
haha...

but too bad cant go for the nurhayat AGM... All the BEST to those involved...

passin out!!! wooooHHOooOOO~~!!!

zulu: pe pulak this time....??
braces: craving's no good... go get a piece of it...
ah boi: yeah!! it's fri... yay! and sat im passin out... haha

Smashed into pieces at 6/24/2005 11:12:00 PM

Thursday, June 23, 2005

im sleepy now actually... but die die i still wanna blog...

i cant remember wat happened yesterday...... oh wait.. i remembered

kinda had a long day at sch.. then head down to hq to hand in some forms...then to town, met ema dear... for a short while onli, coz she realised tt she was late for her drama when i almost done with my cheesecake.. damn..

todae was tiring and fun and interesting.

practical was tiring and tough... didnt do a good job, but ok la for starters.. hurried to change out of my overalls and headed to fc3 to lunch with hisham and liyana... yada yada yada.... went back to sma for class... didnt pay attention at all. practically copied off every single thing frm sufiyan's book.. haha...

had ssp todae... we like did the real thing.. warm ups and everything. the warm ups, i loike... haha... it's was fun and unique... tried out different emotions on the spot.... experimentin our limits. damn... i still cant open up yet... i noe i can.. but, y cant i juz now? argh... still a lil bit kaku...

once again, i rushed to spmls room for the interview.. the exco interview. haha... reached there, tot i was late, but i wasnt.. damn.. i was so tired and perspired lots by the time i reach there... imagine walkin fast frm business block to SAA... haiz...

to me, the interview went well... i took it as a casual chat with the seniors.... muahaha.... tot i would feel nervous... but i didnt feel anythin la... i juz yackked all the way... bla bla bla, yada yada yada.... went home with the seniors... a bunch of nice ppl..

juz waitin for a call tt would be tellin me the result whether im in exco or not... kalo dpt, alhamdullillah... if not, it's aitez... i gave it shot anyway...

tmr, although startin sch late, it's gonna be sucky coz there's onli 1 subject.... and it's the phy thingy... probably do project tmr... wat else...?entah la... probably no prac tmr... so go home early!!!

yunique: u''re probably in KL now... hehehe... sorri girl...
ema: bull.... u didnt even follow rules... hahah
zizi: he's all three of wait u said...

Smashed into pieces at 6/23/2005 12:46:00 AM

Monday, June 20, 2005

had a great day i guess...

my first lesson was loads of fun... i got bullied by the guys... they keep teasin me about my height.. humph... nvm.. ill grow.. someday. hahah... and worse still, i have to stick with them to do a project.

eng drawing was boring.... i talked a lil too much this morn in this class... everyone had settled down after the break, but i was still laughin out loud... then the lecturer said this 'awk ckp byk...' haha... malu sak... and the lecturer was chinese.. haha... once again, i;ve made myself known to another lecturer.

saw kak rin juz now... still lookin sweet..

foodcourts were crowded.. but managed to find a spot at fc3...

ema came along... bla bla bla... had a great time at SPGG, where we played pool in our own shitty way... haha.. i think the guys were pretty pissed off. but who cares... it's all for the fun of it..

took cab to poly marina... and this was where the fun starts. went out to sea for the first time... scared at first... but got the hang of it. pretty cool thing we did todae... make ourselves fall out of the speed boat, then, we had to like stay afloat while waitin for rescue... basically, we juz had to stay in the salty water... it was fun! with the waves... and us bobbin up and down along with the waves... it's was a cool experience... there's more to come, and i cant wait... showered.. changed.. went home...

fell asleep in the train, and for the first time in my life, i missed my stop.. haha... luckily i woke up at pasir ris.. so not too bad...

so hungry and shagged after the practical at poly marina...

reached home.. ate... showered again, damn, it felt good.

gonna have a long day tmr... need to run a few errands here and there... hope my feet stay strong tmr... haha..

gonna try to sleep early tonite...

toodles-looos...

zizi: yupz.. i have ask them to come along... abt zulu, i dunno... he's gone insane over monkeys.. haha..
elfi: of coz i will! wait for my call... haha
feli: tt's damn rite dearie... aku miss kau too!
bondzzz and braces: zulu gone insane over monkeys! and to bondzzz... da jangkit zulu ke? muahaha...

Smashed into pieces at 6/20/2005 10:16:00 PM

Good Morning Singapore!

wokies... training yesterday was tiring, but fun. we had our rehearsal for our POP this comin sat.. cant wait for it. and wat's more, we'll all be doin the parade with rifle... hooray! freakin cool... finally i can do rifle drills in parade... sword drill da tak leh, rifle pun jadi la... had this catapult game.. like a challenge among all the 8 squads. fun, but pathetic. got to noe tt i failed the written test (duh!), re-sat for it... the whole trainin on sat ended late at ard 10pm.. and guess wat? my parents were so worried tt my dad called the Police Academy.. haha.. and there were 2 police officers who came down and looked for me, tellin me to return my dad's calls. haha... and there's another senior officer tellin me the same thing b4 i walked out of the gate.

reahced home at 11... so tired.. bathed, grab a bite... and fell asleep...

sun...
woke up at 11 am... took breakfast... fell asleep again... woke up at 3.. haha.. lazy pig me. went put with family... went to shop and bought new stove and water heater...

got a surprise in the evening... adrena called me!!! yay!! miss ur laughter....

stopped by tm... muahaha... parents didnt allow me to get the addidas jacket... said it wasnt worth it... in the end, wenta converse... i got myself a jacket and long sleeve top... ok la. quite satisfactory... wanted to get shoes.. but, ill juz wait till i have money myself. if not, parents make noise... waduh. cant tahan...

went home.. chatted with ema... it's was a nice conversation. she actually have sth to threaten me with... haha...

erm... wat else...

goin poly marina todae later at 3 pm... argh.. malas nye...

it's gonna be a long day..

cant wait for POP this sat... wooohhhooo!! im passin out ppl...

i saw him, he saw me. he didnt smile. i felt awkward. i think he noes. wateva. if u're readin, im not into u anymore.

zulu: erm... nope.. they didnt.
so?: haha.. mmg tak tau malu...
feli & elf: yupz.. i asked them to come down... thanks ;)
bondzzz: hahaha...
braces: jgn merepek la... muahhaha

Smashed into pieces at 6/20/2005 12:52:00 AM

Saturday, June 18, 2005

im tired... and drained out.

ended sch at 10... wenta play pool with hazeeq and iqbal at clementi for an hr or so... headed home. ordered pizza hut... ate alone... i was all alone at home. wateva. then headed back to dover.. for taman ilmu. then went home. watch pesta perdana... but slept halfway thru. woke up abt 10 sth, took a shower... rushed to pack my stuff for tt damned course... my boots are shitty... they dun shine. wtf... i dun care... they can screw me upside down... ill break down in front of them if i have to... i wanna end the course. asap. a week is too long a wait... god, help me get thru a week smoothly... argh...

im really shagged todae... or should i say yesterday.

wanted this to be a happy entry... but turned out otherwise. so, it's proven tt life's unpredictable.

to taggers, ill reply probably on sun.. coz ill be, once again, half alive by the time i get back home frm the course..

to all my dearies under my links, ill drop by on sun... im too disorientated to read blogs...

sorry to those whose sms i never reply... sorry to those whose calls i didnt ans.

im off to dreamland... where comfort zone is available everywhere... but it wont last long.

Smashed into pieces at 6/18/2005 12:41:00 AM

Thursday, June 16, 2005

watchin the news now... there's this gruesome incident about a corpse being chopped up... scarie seh... a lady's body... how cruel can the murderer get. the murderer put the chopped up body parts in boxes somemore... kesian nye...

ok..

my day started off sucky... woke up late.. had a misunderstanding and a small quarrel with mom. she's really gettin on my nerves lately... argh... nag nag nag..

sch was orite... had lunch with the guys again... haha... there were the usual rounds of lame jokes... and not to mention some dirrty ones too... hehe...

practical todae on practical heat was boring... shant elaborate.

got an email about my POP next sat... hq invitin the parents for the major event. the parents will be required to put on the rank on their children... dunno whether to ask my parent to follow or not... wat u ppl think?

my plans for tmr is in a mess... argh...

bondzzz & zulu: mimpi je la abt denise choosin u two... haha... take care guys!
ema: wateva. period.
hafiz: u loike manhunt...? haha... i wonder y...
elfi: yupz.. howard is WAY better... and yes, accordin to ema, manhunt had already been aired on tv..

Smashed into pieces at 6/16/2005 10:03:00 PM

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

watchin eye for a guy... the finale... stoopid denise.. she should have chose howard.. he's more humorous and all... haiz...

next up, manhunt.. woohhoo... hehe

dikeheningan malam,
tak lena mata dipejam
ingin ku luahkan kata

bila rindu
syahdunya jiwaku
bila malam
rasa kelam

Smashed into pieces at 6/15/2005 10:18:00 PM

hello all...

didnt update coz i was tired- or should i say, lazy- to do so... hehe...

nth much happened, so there're nth much to blog abt..

on mon, a day after comin back frm ubin, i had to go to sch... ok la.. managed to get thru the day, coz im still here alive and blogging... cant remember wat happened on mon...

on tues, was fun... i loike... finally get to lunch with zee after so long... settled down ard zee's block... chatted... yada yada yada... left for class.. had fun with ya girl.. next week, do it again? haha..

todae....

had practicals... pretty cool. did quite good for my first piece of work tt had to be graded... not bad for a girl, ya noe? haha... had break, joined the girls frm DMTM, talking crap. man, i missed out on lots of stuff... haha... saw kak rin todae! haha... she's lookin good...

applied heat a.k.a physics.... i didnt concentrate coz i was laughin my ass off.. haha... tt hazeeq la.. nvm. it wont be farnie if i explain it here.. haha.. juz didnt noe he was tt 'ignorant' about bikini top.. hehe....

followed zee to baminton try outs... duduk one corner je aku..

wanted to revise tt phy subject tonite.... but got distracted with the phone. dun understand some stuff.. and i lost the mood to study..

gonna eat croissant soon.. mom brought home..

had a great afternoon juz now with zaidi and gang... haha... "tak lah!!!".. muahahaa...

drools: babe!! u're back taggin.... glad u're fine...
yunique: bukan MIA... malas! haha... missin ya too sweet...
ah boi: haha... we are the pemalas... haha
devil08: erm, who are u in da first place?
bondzzz: mane ade.. haha
elfi: kau foreva like tt.. haha.. jealous?
feli: hi princess.... u take care of urself too k...

Smashed into pieces at 6/15/2005 09:12:00 PM

Sunday, June 12, 2005

anyway, forgot to add... i malas wanna tag all of ur bloggies... onli some... but, one thiing's for sure: i miss reading ur bloggies! haha... do i sound insane? hmmm...

Smashed into pieces at 6/12/2005 07:41:00 PM

hip hip hooray!! haha...

i had juz attended and survived the second phase of hell... came back frm camp todae. the camp was ok la...the best part of it which convinced me to go was the part where we had ta do kayaking. and damn, it was worth goin for the camp. kayak-ed 5 hrs straight ard the waters of ubin.. and i tell u, u'll feel like a grilled chicked. cliche as it is, i now noe wat i feels like to really be sunburnt. haha... the onli difficulty i had to overcome is the part when it gets really uncomfortable in the kayak.. yeah, coz it's like soakin urself in a bathtub of sea water... this is the longest duration of kayakin i've done in a session... 5 pure hardcore hrs of kayaking.. woohoo!

other than tt, things were pretty norm... wasnt as torturous as i tot it would be.... the CIIs slacked on the scoldin part abit.. coz i think they're tired of screamin their heads off at us... in fact, this ATC made us, the trainees, all the more closer and bonded... but it's still not the end... i got one more training to attend... then, it's POP!! haha... cant wait... by tt time, my saturdays will be free and torture-free...

and now.. for the BIGGEST news of the day... haha... i have to tell everyone. in detail.

my family fetched me at PA/HQ where the annual police week carnival was held... todae was the last dae. so we walked ard... ate... took rides... AND.... wenta this room where there were presentation on the SPF music band... quite interestin, so we walked over b4 we left.... i actually didnt want to go home at tt time.. coz i was waitin for TAUFIK to perform. hehe... yup. but i didnt noe where and when. coincidently, my dad's fren told him tt TAUFIK's gonna perform.. and my dad told me.. and i was like.. "no.. haha.. really?" the room was already crowded, but i squeezed my way thru.... man.. it was exhilarating.. so anxious for him to make his entry..

and there he was... walkin into the lil room, packed with ppl... and, gosh.. it was terrific seeing him actually perform live... i was beamin and smiling sooo much tt tears almost came to my eyes... but didnt la.. hehe.. anyway, he was suave and charming... and smooth... he made my day. seriously... and this is by pure coincidence, coz i didnt noe tt he's performin in tt room... hehe.. ok, some of u will be "yeah2.. so wat? big deal?" ok la... wateva.. it was awesome seeing taufik in person... coz i've always awed over his voice in front of a tv screen...

so yeah! i met TAUFIK!

haha...
ok, ill stop...

im ill at the moment... havin a nasty sore throat and running nose.. probably im havin flu. haiz.. first time attend camp, then fall sick... but anyways, actually.. i dun have a pt here..

no matter how much fun i had durin the camp, it made me miss my bed, my lappie and my hp... really.

gonna stop now... wanna sleep.. yupz, it's onli 7.39 pm.. but im tired la... i cant even bring myself to walk ard.. coz i had too much of it already..

so, gd nite... tata!

so?: sure... i really love to go out with the table ppl... let's 'scare' the ppl ard us with our laughters.. hahaha.... fix a date and tell moi... give me a call aite..
liyaaa: very da wise words... so not u.. haha.. juz kiddin... love ya loads too! haha.. and lori balak part is veri lame... wat's happenin to ya! hehehe...
elfi: thanks dearie... haha.. like i said, it's not who's facin the 'crisis'... no worries... now, wat happened to u? talk to me yea...

Smashed into pieces at 6/12/2005 07:39:00 PM

Thursday, June 09, 2005

my day started off boring... but, as the day went by, it was pretty ok i guess... lunched at fc 6 with shaiful, azfar, jon, sufiyan and saddiq.. we had ard 2 hrs of break.. so we went all the way to the other end juz to eat at fc6... but hell, the food there aint worth the long and exhaustin walk. well, wat to do? da sampai kat situ.. lantak je la ape yg ade... had a stroll on the red bridge, which was rumoured to be haunted... i was kinda shakin as i walked down the bridge... tt was the second time i walked there... at least, this time it wasnt as bad as the last, when i went for the nite walk durin mls camp.

sch ended early.. coz tutorial was pushed forward, and practical was basically introductions. boring. so, tt ended early, luckily.

went home with azfar, sufiyan, jon... haha, kesian shaiful, kene balik sorang.. haha..

took lil naps along the way home... haiz...

tmr, ill be leaving for ubin... argh... damn. i have no will to pack my bags in the first place.

i cant crash at nyp tmr, thanks to the atc.

im mentally tired and not prepared for the atc...

haiz..

ali, shahidah, cf and siti... i hope u guys are alrite... everythings's gonna be fine aitez... ali, like wat fab said: dun let tt petty faggot upset u... orite babe?

zulu: u're linked! thanks for comin down... =)
zee: hey girl! it's not me goin thru a rough time.. kinda a misunderstandin between my frens... but, everything's ok with me! take care dear...
bondzzz: thanks for the great stuff u said... appreciate it... linked ya already =>
feli: haha... ok sweets.. ill check it out...

Smashed into pieces at 6/09/2005 06:23:00 PM

Hypocrisy.

tt's one thing which most of us fear and avoid. the one thing, no matter how insignificant, tt could hurt us.

it's unfair to judge one side of the story...

but, is hypocrisy part of frenship? i dun think so... i dunno. it seems like it is in this era. i dun find hypocrites among my closest pals... or maybe i've not noticed them yet? or maybe i noe there are, but i choose to ignore tt fact? i dunno...

wateva it is, frens are very dear to me. i dun wanna see my darlings break up and part away further... far away frm the distance tt's already buildin between us.

yes... some dearest frens mite change.. coz they're pretty much influenced or juz wanna fit in... but, this is where true frenship comes in. and the test of hypocritism is put into place.

im not siding anyone... or blaming anyone. it's juz a tot... i really love u guys... ema, liyaa, feli, elfi, fab, ad, ali, siti, cf, jeli, bala, vic, ivan, shahidah, aisyah....i dun wanna lose u guys.

plz dun let one single ignorance frm tt someone ruin our chain of frenships.

ppl change, but tt's wat frens are for... to u, help her, as a fren, realise her mistake. yes, it'll be unfair and tough... but u gotta try. if u value the frenship, at least make the effort. she's lost in her own world... tt's y u gotta talk to her..

*i was so scared of wat happened. i almost cried as i read thru... as i found out the ugly disaster. i dun wanna lose u all. gorgeous, i tried callin u... but could get thru. stay calm oritez.. everything's gonna be fine... take it easy*

Smashed into pieces at 6/09/2005 12:49:00 AM

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

let me start this entry by bloggin about the negative stuff first,coz i wanna be happie at the end of the day.

i dun wanna go for my atc on fri... i rather go to sch... i've got no more motivation or 'push' to carry on for the course.. serious. i wouldnt care if i were to be sacked fmr the course... argh.. due to atc, i cant for the annual police week... and i cant drop by taman warisan on fri. i was soo lookin forward to go taman warisan on fri nite... but then, i suddenly remembered i hadta go away to ubin... im sooo frustrated. this course is almost as if cuttin me away frm wat my life used to be... it's really bugging the way i live my life, forcing me to cancel promised plans, or missing out on sth special.

ok.. tt's aside... the happie stuff now..

was 15 min late for practical coz of the traffic jams... but, it was wat i felt at the end of the lesson tt mattered.. it was a new experience for me.. it's was really d&t like... using weird machinery and the work we're supposed to do is very dangerous. u noe the thing they show u on tv, where some guy will put a rod near some metal stuff, then there'll be a bright light and sparks burstin out? the one where they wear this huge mask to cover their face? haha... no idea wat im talkiin about? nvm.. hha.. it's called weldin... all of us had to wear apron and other stuf... anyway, bottomline is tt it's one thing i can look forward to in my course, finally.

secondly, i LURVE todae's SSP meeting... haha... awesome fun i tell ya... performed/ acted for the first time ever after years since i last did tt... i was soo nervous. messed up a lil... but damn, there's like an enormous room for me to improve... haha.. in the first place, i didnt noe if i did the my part well... the experience of performing in mly was unique and cool... sth very new to me. i felt awkward at first readin the script in malay... hehe.. but managed to get the hang of it soon enuf.. i wanna do it again... for the fun of it. it's fun expressin urself, i found out...

participating in SSP made me realised tt u never noe till u try... serious. i never knew tt i could perform in front of a crowd and still havin fun and not feelin malu or shy.. haha. im lovin' it! muahahaha...

ema: awww... love ya too sweetie..!
laney: haha.... goodie tt u're back...

Smashed into pieces at 6/08/2005 09:31:00 PM

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

mood: happy, but sad, frustrated and irritated, yet not throwin tanrums..

i felt as if todae never will end... it was like sooo long...

lesson time durin CRS a.k.a eng was quite fun towards the end... fun coz we did some grp discussion... but, wat we learnt was sth like wat rajan tot us... like some crap about lookin out for supportin details in a para to find out wat it is all about...

had 3 hrs break... and damn, it was long. didnt do anythin productive durin the break... hazeeq and iqbal wanted to go, and i was almost being left alone... but, i managed to persuade them not to go... hehe... promised to let them go next week... waited for the clubhouse to open.. sat outside the clubhouse like some beggers for over and hr... had a short nap in the clubhouse.. and then, headed for the next class...

engineerin drawin is gettin complicated.... i gotta keep up, so tt i wont fall back... wish me luck guys..

ate with ema... as usual, she's envious of the no of ruffled hair guys in sp.. muahaha... had fun with ya babes... too bad i was really tired juz now.. if not, ill join in the thing u did on thr mrt ( the car wash thingy..)

head down to HQ to get the damn excuse letter... menyusahkan hidup org je... saw the cute ns guys... haha... saw those peeps at the rc.. haha... it's their turn goin thru hell.. and man, do they stink.. hehe... on the way out, saw some of the ppl frm squad 3... and i saw someone.. with someone! haha... damn gurl, u're sooo lucky... hehe..

stoned thru the whole day... hadnt feel tt tired for such a long time... haha.. thanks to the chatting session last nite...

yunique: ahhh!!! u're here!! yay!!
elfi: boleh appeal, tak nak.. so dun start complainin.. haha...

Smashed into pieces at 6/07/2005 08:42:00 PM

juz finish chattin with hisham..

gd nite, bestfren =)

Smashed into pieces at 6/07/2005 02:42:00 AM

Monday, June 06, 2005

im bored...

im posting mutiple entries...

im bored

im having mood swings..

i dunno wat im feelin..

im happiee.. but im feelin so void...

geezz...

sheesshh...

shhh..

dun waste ur time..

stop readin this entry now...

really..

coz im gonna end here, anyway...

Smashed into pieces at 6/06/2005 11:04:00 PM

LaLAla....

haha..

im sooo happiee...

i loike todae...

i lurve todae..

haha...

Smashed into pieces at 6/06/2005 10:38:00 PM

wee...~!!! meetin ema tmr... haha... boys at sp, beware!

this is my third entry todae... im goin craziieee

Smashed into pieces at 6/06/2005 09:26:00 PM

damn... tt song by siti nurhaliza is still stuck in my head... even though it's weeks after the mly camp...

guess this is the first mly song tt's stuck in my head for the longest time... haha...

tak kan mungkin....

Smashed into pieces at 6/06/2005 08:07:00 PM

todae had been hectic... well, sorta...

was 15 min late for class... and the lecturer now noes me very well already... coz i was late for his other class too last week... haiz.. nurul, wat happened to ur punctuality...? wateva... class was kinda interesting... started to do stuff with pencil and pieces of paper, a.k.a drawing. can u imagine the hell i was goin thru..? drawing aint my forte, never had been.... so, ill be sufferin in this course coz there's gonna be lots of drawing to be done...

next lesson was also about drawing... this time, it was more complicated... had to make use of the funny lookin equipments tt cost a bomb. and the drawings had to be precise and they had measurements... my gosh. my patience were wearin thin onli half thru the lesson... but thank goodness, there was hazeeq and iqbal... i was LMAO for the first hr which was the lecture... haha... i laughed too much tt i 'cried'... haha... was called out by the lecturer a couple of times. man, i had put up a bad impression for him of me... but who cares? his engRish sucks big time, and he's boring!

rushed home to get my attire for my lesson at poly marina. fyi, poly marina is like a mini shipyard... like a smaller version of the gigantic PSA. no idea? nvm... first lesson there... really cool. learnt how to lower down a safety boat in case of emergency... very complicated, yet fun... very hands on... and there's lots of heights invovled... it was scariee... i gotta do a jetty jump some time soon. it's like jumping from a board and into the waters, and the height? roughly about 3m... ugh... it'll be a whole new experience for me... but i havta overcome my fears first... haiz..

wat else...

bro's off for atc at ubin... my turn will be soon...

oh yeah, tmr havta go down to hq (police academy) to collect the excuse letter for my atc... damn hq... baru skrg nak print out... da la last min, havta go ALL the way down juz for ONE letter... such a nuisance... stupid hq.. so much for lecturing us about efficiency.. goin with ts... anyways, the letter is for my LOA (leave of absence) on fri... not goin sch on fri... which i wouldnt celebrate about, coz i rather be in sch than at ubin... argh...

tmr, there'll be eng drawing lesson again.. the lesson about drawin with ridiculous equipments... very the troublesome.

elfi: glad u noe tt's lame... but, stay tt way aitez... sch startin soon ritee? all the best k...? =)
liyaaa: hey girll!! finally... did u get burnt there? or did u lose weight? haha... miss ya loads! n, wat do u mean floorball can be addictive?
so?: yupz.. of coz i remember the way we played... totally barbaric..! haha...

Smashed into pieces at 6/06/2005 06:49:00 PM

Sunday, June 05, 2005

argh.. staying at home is pure boredom... i wanna get busy. i wanna go to sch... where my dae would be hectic with unpredictable events...

once again, im online the whole day...

i've decided...

ill join rock climbing.. coz i've always wanted to rock climb... but, i dunno la... as u all noe, im fickle minded.. so... i dunno la..

tmr, lessons mite start.. so, im kinda feelin anxious, coz it's gonna be a whole new world to me once the lecturer starts crappin bout engineerin drawin and some other stuff...

y are all the good guys attached? haiz... haha... no big deal, but y?!

like wat ema said... ill juz wait for fate to be nicer to me...

yani, it's disgustin.. now i noe wat u mean when u told me the stuff on the way home on thr mrt... haha...

nautical, thanks for suggestion.. da faham... ;)

bondzzz, u're confused me with whom? haha...

vic... im too fickle minded to rock on.. haha..

yupz... ah boi, tt's wat me and my gfs like to do... haha

Smashed into pieces at 6/05/2005 09:54:00 PM

Saturday, June 04, 2005

dammit... i typed sucha long entry... and now it's gone... feel like cursing.. but, nvm..

basically, did nth the whole day... spent my hrs online, on my bed with my lappie...

how fun my sat was...

haiz..

rock climbing?

floorball?

rock climbing?

floorball?

Smashed into pieces at 6/04/2005 10:23:00 PM

yesterday was sucha day to remember.... 'invited' my bestfren, ema, over to sp... haha... objective: to lunch there and scout for yummylicious lookin guys... haha...

ema was tired after walkin ard for a while... haha.. poor thing. so, we didnt walk ard much... brought her to eat at kfc... then, wenta the MLS booth... man, was she lucky... haha...

followed her to bishan... then rushed back to sp for the taman ilmu thingy... it was partly interesting and partly draggy... there were some stuff that were not tt relevant... but, however, i've learnt sth new.

arrived home at niine... damn tired... chatted till abt 12, i think... i was very da thick skin last nite... haha... im like so embarrassed now... got to noe sth very 'woah'... haha... dun worry, ill keep it shush.

sorry hisham for cancellin the plans...

woke up at 12... mom not at home, tt's y can wake up late...

comtemplatin between floorball and rock climbing.. both got trainings on weds.. but, im not goin for tt training.. coz got SSP. tt's definitely my core cca... rock climbin and floorball got trainin on another dae i think.. i dunno which one to choose. rock climbin is sth i've always wanted to do, but floorball is sth different... how?

tt's all for now...

bondzzz: haha... very da thick skin eh...

Smashed into pieces at 6/04/2005 02:10:00 PM

Friday, June 03, 2005

its 1 am... so it's a new day....

yesterday, sch was boring. the onli gd thing was tt class started later than usual...

had my first ever lecture and it's about physics... basic phy. it was the first chap, and it's about SI... u mite think it's simple... but the lecturer made it soo complicated, the classes were so confused... the lecturer himself was like so confused and couldnt understand wat he was saying... i need major help in tt subject..

collected my overalls and safety shoes... i feel like Mr Ronald McDonalds when i put on the shoes.. it's extra big for me, but it's the smallest size available.. my overalls is still big for me, even though it's XS... well, wat to do... haiz...

bought the final stuff needed for engineering drawing....

stopped by the 'clubhouse'... got to noe a couple of seniors frm marine eng... really noisy grp of ppl... think ill hang ard there more often.. it looks like fun.

went home... slept for i thiink 3 hrs... was so tired. dunno y...

i get tired easily lately... i gotta kick the lethargy out of me... i cant keep this thing goin on.. if lessons really start next week, ill be dead... coz i would suddenly feel tired. mood swings? i dunno... maybe...

it's 3 in the morn... on the hp with ema... she's totally crapping about stuff... wateva she's sayin in bullshit, in comical way... she's really hyper... like me or adrena during camps... and she wont quit making up shit... haha.. and she's singing now... and now, she's playin dj, and im supposed to be a caller... damn her... haha... trust me. u wouldnt want to talk to her now..

i really dunno wat time we'll stop..

gonna hang out with her... i dunno how it's gonna be...

gonna stop blogging now...

nobody;s online anyway.. haha. like duh.. it's 330 in the morn...

keroul: hehe... u can recommend? juz sayin tt there are good lookin ppl there... thanks anyway. dun worry, ill go to u if i need help... hehe...
feli: hi darl... ill go to ur bloggie later todae k...
drools: u're sick? aww... u miss me too much eh.. sampai sakit.. haha... take care of urself babe...
Zero-G: yo! u found me... haha...
so?: haha...yeah... dun u miss bullyin teachers...

Smashed into pieces at 6/03/2005 01:00:00 AM

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

i had loads of fun todae.... so much better than yesterday... classes were boring as usual... ordered overalls and safety shoes for workshop/ practicals... damn, the shoes are damn ugly...

had another looong break.... wenta clementi again. played pool and arcade with the chinese boys.. ee shang, desmond, aaron and another guy. arrived for the next class on the spot, but by tt time, the classroom were full... bla bla bla...

sch's more fun todae coz of the SSP meetin... we played tt game, wateva it's called... very fun. ended up beatin the crap out of each other and saboing each other.... there were laughters and brief introductions...

im lookin forward to the actual stuff tt ill be doin in SSP... sounds really interestin... this is sth new to me.. and thus, it's kinda challenging for me to step into SSP, coz malay arts had never been my forte, though i did have interests in them way looong time ago...

pretty boy, thanks for suggesting tt i went for the meeting ;)

erm.. wat else... met up with ema in the morn... it was really nice seeing her after like mths! we were, as usual, very kecoh in the train... and it was like 7 sth onli in the morn... haha.... and then, met up with her again oon the wya home... i had such fun time with ya girl.... miss those times... guess we are still noisy and childish... hehe...

met phunky wan at tamp small mac... he was... diff frm wat i xpected... he's really quiet.. for those who dunno, it's the new guy frm triple noize...

im feelin really moody tonite.. i dunno y...

im tired...

but, i noe im gonna love SSP...

i noe ema's kinda envious of me... coz im in SP... and SSP... haha...

feli: thank u darling... haha
ema: u lil bimbo... haha... forever.. enuf la... u better concentrate on ur ICAs.. haha...
yunique: hey u!!! u miss sch?? tt's sth new... haha... have fun shoppin... hint: ade great s'pore sale, so, wat aare u waitin for? shop till u drop... haha..
bored: none are cute in my class/ course.. but there are good lookin ones... there are some good lookin and cute ones in the SSP a.k.a malay society/club... and im not kiddiin... hehe..

Smashed into pieces at 6/01/2005 10:16:00 PM

ok... it's 0311 on weds morn... the 3rd day of my first semester in yr 1...

juz finish talkin to ema on the hp... didnt expect myself to wake up.. tot it was already 6 am... but found out it was onli 2 sth... dun feel like sleepin back... so here i am...

anyway, wanna update my bloggie too... coz i went shopping! hehe... yupz, wenta shop with my kuzzie, yani... it was fuN... i shopped like nobody's business, and she didnt help me refrain myself frm buyin stuff.. so in the end, i spent like 100 bucks in a day... not bad huh? it's the great s'pore sale anyways.... oh yeah, we watched madagascar... yeah, tt cartoon movie. and damn, it was hilarious... very entertaining, seriously. so many dumb and lame jokes... and u can juz laugh out loud during the movie... it's worth ur money. so waga waga, i guess u juz had some bad luck tt u watched the show with some annoyin kids... hehe..

todae, or should i say yesterday, sch was like a roller coaster ride... dad sent me to sch, so i reached there at a pretty decent timing... also, saved on my ezliink fare too... coz i onli had 4 cents left... haha. ok... first lesson was quite interesting... the way the lecturer dressed was boring... a female lecturer, fyi.. she dressed like some ancient woman frm the 80s.. haha.. but she was nice and frenly... got us suited to the env... and i found out tt my class is really dead... they dun like talking. seriously... haiz.. there's onli me, ee shang, and probably hazeeq tt'll be chattin away in class... haha..

so after tt class, i had FIVE hrs break... damn.. i was like wondering wat to do... so, i hanged out with the guys... ALL guys.. i was the onlie girl... hehe... they wanted to play LAN games, a.k.a CS or counter-strike... my first reaction was " huh? wat m i supposed to do? am i supposed to play too?" and, i did try my hands on CS... and it was sucha dumb game... haha.. i got being shot at several times over and over again... haiz... in the end, i sat in corner, on the floor, and talked to ema for a while on the hp... haha... it was sooo boring i tell ya... i dun see the pt of the game...

after LAN games, they wanted to play pool... and tt was another game tt im not familiar with. it was soo embarrassing playin with them... or should i say they are embarrassed tt im playin the game with them... haha... i onli played half a game... i handed the cue to one of the guys in the middle of a game... haha... i broke all the rules man... and the way they hit the ball. it's like as if the ball's gonna break... but when i shoot, it's like as if i didnt do anything to do the ball... haiz..

headed back to sch... for a lesson which i eventually had to be exempted frm(actually the whole had to be exempted coz we got c6 and above for a math)... so, after wastin 5 hrs of my time, it actually boiled down to this: got into the class, and less than a min later, we were told tt we dun havta take this module and we can 'drop' and go home... how... dumb. totally... could have went home SO much earlier... argh.

being in a company of boys, guys, men - wateva u wanna call them- is fun and at the same time, i kinda feel left out sometimes... but so far, i enjoyed my times with them... most of them are sincere about hanging out with me... they're fun and funny and nice to be with.. but there's juz one guy who i dislike, not hate... juz dislike... he's arrogant... too egoistical... u noe, like rahman. but not physically strong as rahman... his ego needs some pinching...

i miss my gfs...

shoppin anyone? haha...

ps: to hafidz, selamat pergi, dan selamat pulang ye... take care of urself...

FB: u'll be link soon.. thanks for droppin by... ;)
feli: missin u too dearie.. and stop makin stupid jokes thru sms... haha
drools: yupz... me miss u too blackie.. haha... hope u doin well at sch... hehe...
bondzzz: hello there.. i have no idea who u are... haha.. probably coz i dunno how u look like.. got a link? maybe t could help.. :)
nazi: you! i noe who u are... haha...
hafiz:yeah... there's always the phone, but it's not ever the same...
so?: tt geog teacher? which one? coz we always had a diff one... remember? izzit the old one with irritatin voice, or the fat ass one, or the young and small and i-wanna-cry-dun-do-this-to-me face one..? haha.. or izzit all three? hehe...

Smashed into pieces at 6/01/2005 03:47:00 AM